Abbie Boudreau Dodges James O’Keefe’s CNN Loveboat

abbie-boudreau-dodges-james-okeefes-cnn-loveboatIt was a “punk” set-up by James O’Keefe, the same guy who famously dressed up as a pimp to interview members of ACORN. Say what you will, this guy is willing to commit.

He reportedly planned to surprise CNN reporter Abbie Boudreau on a boat and attempt to seduce her, as a commentary on the news? Or something? The planned script has him saying: “Instead of giving her a serious interview, I’m going to punk CNN. Abbie has been trying to seduce me to use me, in order to spin a lie about me. So, I’m going to seduce her, on camera, to use her for a video.”

Is this really how CNN does its reporting? Seduction? If so, why hasn’t Anderson Cooper invited me anywhere yet? I know a lot of things about stuff.

“This bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five will get a taste of her own medicine,” the script continues, “she’ll get seduced on camera and you’ll get to see the awkwardness and the aftermath.”

That’s how most of my dates start. “I’ll show the mainstream media!” my dates cackle, spreading out a carpet of rose petals and blasting Al Green. “This is going to be so awkward for everyone involved!” At the end of the evening, they drop me off at my door. “What a commentary this was,” they murmur, gazing off into the distance. “Could you turn a little more to your left and say something bobble-headed?”

The oddest part of the scenario is the list of “equipment” for the failed punking, which includes a music list: “Alicia keys, 80s romance songs, things that are typically James, avoid Marvin Gaye as too cliché.” That’s good. Wouldn’t want to be cliché in our CNN-punking-seduction-video-commentary-thing! That probably explains why the list didn’t include a condom jar, “obvious sex tape machine,” dildos, fuzzy handcuffs, Viagra, lube, ceiling mirror, posters and photos of naked women, candles, a blindfold, and pornographic magazines — wait, never mind, those are all on the list.

This doesn’t really look like a seduction evening to me. This looks like he and the correspondent have been married for ten years and their therapist told them that they needed to rekindle their love life. Also, the inclusion of “Viagra and stamina pills” is a nice touch — shows humility.

Did I mention that it was on a boat? Who comes up with these things?

Well, according to James O’Keefe, it wasn’t he. He claims the plan “was sent” to him. This is what happens to me every time I’m going to meet a CNN reporter. People just send me 13-page lists of things of I could do on a pleasure craft. Maybe they’d thought he’d be down for it. Remember, he dressed up as a pimp to interview members of ACORN. By the time he was done editing this footage, it might have looked like a romantic evening instead of a ludicrous, nonsensical stunt. Talk about things that are typically James.

By Alexandra Petri , Washington Post.

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